10 years - like a dream

27th November 1997. A young man , escaping from the clutches of ULFA and trying to establish a foothold in the City of Kolkata, and a young woman, cheerful, ever smiling and optimistic, decided to give social recognition to a relationship which they had nurtured over the last three years.

Enter the fanfare brigade-- conch shells, streams of relatives, seven days of song and dance, unending good wishes, 36 hours of Honeymoon in Puri. It was a dream start and the hangover is still there in the the deep recesses of the mind and available on easy recall.

Reality struck. Financial strain, hard corporate pressure for survival, changing of three rented apartments/houses, buying of essential amenities - ONE BY ONE , moments of anger and frustration, occasional fights, health related complaints, occasional accidents creating permanent disabilities.

The two weathered the storm. Arguments were never carried on for long, the smiles, the laughter added the zing to the fight, supportive parents provided a base to work on, growth happened, assets grew, and the dream carried on. A trip here, a film there, a car and a music system -------- the roots have grown and continue to grow and bind the relationship in a bond which grows stronger with time.

27th November 2007. The now not so young man, pot bellied and balding and the woman still charming and smiling and maturing with age like some rare vintage wine, sit back together and look back on the past decade with a proud grin and say to each other -
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WE HAVE DONE IT AND WE ARE LOOKING GOOD FOR A FEW MORE DECADES.

My Shame- My Sorrow

I love my birth place. I love my birth state. I am proud to be a Bengali. I love poetry, films, fine arts, cricket, Sourav Ganguly, Satyajit Ray, Amartya Sen, Anjan Chatterjee, Buddhadeb Bhattacharya------------- I feel proud that I belong to a community which places culture and courtesy above all else. I feel proud that in these days of market capitalization, a shopping mall shares a pride of place with a theatre hall. I feel pride that we have time for each other. I feel proud that we have a Chief Minister who is equally adept in the cultural forum as he is in wooing corporate investors. I feel pride that he can quote poetry as fast as he can work out profitability. SORRY!

I do not feel all that any more! The Chief Minister's name no longer features in the list above. I lament and I feel let down.

Pujo- Past Perfect

This pujo we had shifted to a new apartment block. New and shining facade, new entry points, well maintained terraces, in house pujo celebrations, nice neighbours, community eating and cultural functions everyday. Good fun actually.

For once mom and wifey got the chance to be part of the arranging team. For once baba got a chance to see all the fun from the shelter of the balcony. For once one could write to friends about the own apartment pujo.

One should be have been happy and contented.

But the Lazy one was not!!!!

The lazy roads lined with trees, the huge fields with swaying 'Kash', the unending unannounced arrival of friends at ones home, the addas at the pandals of different zones , the anticipated meetings with old friends at these pandals, the erratic timings of of coming home and going out, the fun and anticipation of "going home" on Shosthi, the angst of returning to the city on Ekadoshi, the unadulterated fun of living on Phuchka, Eggroll and other such manna from Heaven, the sadness tinged fun of the Bhasan ------ were all missing.

As was the place where one got it all!!!

As was the age that appreciated all of it!!

Phirbena , Sheto ar phirbena,
Phirbena ar kono din!

Nostalgia and Madness

It's that time of the year again. The Goddess is going to start her annual visit to her parental home.

Forget whether Ma Durga actually hails from Bengal, Forget that this visit is now stretched from Kolkata to Kuala Lumpur, from Boston to Bombay and Calicut to Cincinnati.Forget that with the changing vagaries of nature the traditional fleecy white clouds against the azure blue sky has been replaced by the dark water laden ones against a predominantly gloomy grey sky.

It's just that time of the year when we loose reason and happily so. It's that time when we get into a buying frenzy as if there were no tomorrow. It is that time of the year when the city streets turn into Venice, Rome,Italy and even Brazil at times. It is that time when everyone feels a tug at the heartstrings to go back to their homes.It is that time when perfectly well behaved stable people take the license to act the goat. It is that time when One carries a permanent idiotic grin on ones face. It is that time ----------

Oh c'mon!!! Forget all this! Just freak out and let go! Hail the Goddess!!!

IN - human

He had celebrated his 35th birthday. He had just crossed a milestone of his standard daily life. He sat on the park bench, cigarette in hand- thoughtful, alone and sad.

And he had just had a birthday bash. There were friends all around, his relatives made him feel special and he had the best gifts in the world.

Yet, he walked out of the celebrations at the first opportunity. He looked for solitude- for time with himself.

As he now sat ruminating, his life flashed by. He had achieved a lot in the 35 years that he had trod on Mother Earth. He had achieved academic success, he had reached dizzy heights in his career, he had the world at his feet. Everyone envied his single minded dedication.

He was happy. He was sad.

In 35 years, he had ceased to be a Human Being.

Upswing and Downswing

The last 48 hours has been a veritable vertical pendulum.

From a Zenith of unbridled joy created by Mahi & Co. , it was a rude splash down into a city looking like a endless gutter due to rains. The sewage and the storm water drainage failed in Tandem and the city was drowned-- and it still continues to be under water in some parts even 36 hours after the Sun made a reappearance.

The exalted Mayor makes a statement on television that the water would recede once the rains stop. As if one would require Rocket Science or Insider Information to know that!!!!!

Believe me it is quite galling to be wading in knee deep muck and listening to such profound theories.

Started

It has been years since I wrote down something. The urge was there and so was the inherent laziness. There were moments of thoughts that were so overwhelming that I would feel the urge to write.

But then, it would take an actual effort to do so! Nah! Too lazy for that.

That' when Oreen (dragons-fly@blogspot.com) walked in, or rather I chanced in on to his blog. Some deep rooted shared memories were stirred and Here I am. For Good or for Worse and for how long? I know not.

It's just I am here.